Lucy's Last Straw: A feel-good, laugh-out-loud romantic comedy by Debbie Viggiano

Author:Debbie Viggiano
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781786819628
Publisher: Bookouture

Thirty

Leaving Amy to have her bath, I went and flopped down on my bed. Feeling hot and bothered and distracted, I whipped off the towel and sprawled across the duvet cover. Reaching for my mobile phone, I set about FaceTiming Leo. It connected almost instantly.

‘Heyyy,’ said Sue-Ellen.

‘Hey,’ I said, somewhat tersely. What was this? Did America have some sort of protocol whereby assistants always answered their colleagues’ phones?

‘I have a feeling this is a personal call,’ Sue-Ellen winked, ‘so I shall be discreet and make myself scarce.’

‘Thanks,’ I said graciously.

‘You’re most welcome. Enjoy.’

Enjoy?

‘Hey, honey,’ said Leo, taking the phone from Sue-Ellen. Was it my imagination or did my husband just talk with an American accent? ‘How are—?’ Leo broke off in horror. ‘For heaven’s sake, Lucy, you’re naked.’

Oh dear God. Why did my concentration always fragment at the untimeliest moments? This was all Symphony Sal’s fault. Wretched woman. I grabbed the towel and flung it around me. Which was a bit like shutting the proverbial stable door after the horse had bolted now that I’d shown Sue-Ellen my very British floppy tits.

‘Sorry, sorry,’ I mumbled, feeling my face flame again.

‘What on earth must Sue-Ellen think?’

‘Actually, Leo,’ I grimaced, embarrassment at my faux pas making me feisty, ‘I don’t give a flying fig what Sue-Ellen thinks.’

‘Well I do,’ my husband roared.

‘At worst, she will privately think your wife could do with breast implants along with dental veneers, at best she’s assuming I’ve rung you for phone sex.’

‘Too much information, Mother,’ Amy shrieked from the bathroom.

‘Oh for goodness’ sake,’ I muttered, before yelling back to my daughter, ‘Your father and I aren’t really having phone sex.’

‘We hardly ever have sex,’ Leo harrumphed.

‘Too much information, Father,’ Amy shrieked again.

I shifted across the bed and, extending one leg as far as was possible without actually getting up, booted the door shut. The cat shot in just before its tail got squashed.

‘Terrific,’ I seethed, as the cat jumped on the bed.

‘Was that Amy I could hear?’ asked Leo.

‘Yes. She’s broken up with Jack and come home.’

‘On no,’ said Leo, ‘I really liked Jack.’

‘He was seeing three women, the adulterous bastard,’ I snarled.

‘Was he now,’ said Leo, looking suitably shocked – although I could have sworn there was the faintest sound of admiration in his voice. ‘Good God, what the devil is that on our bed?’

‘It’s a bloody cat,’ I said, thoroughly irked.

‘Why have you got a cat on—?’

‘Leo, I haven’t FaceTimed you to discuss the bloody cat. Are you aware that Matthew has asked Jessica to marry him?’

‘What?’ Leo gasped. ‘I knew it! Didn’t I tell you,’ my husband crowed, ‘that this would be on the cards sooner rather than later. I’ll send Jessica a text right now.’

‘No!’ I cried. ‘She is coming over for dinner tomorrow. Apparently our daughter has “big news” and wants to give it in person.’

‘You know what this means, don’t you, Luce?’

‘We’re about to gain a son-in-law,’ I said witheringly.

‘Well, yes, obviously, but what I actually meant was that we’re

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.